Left Behind
by DebbyHayleyBieber119
Summary: In the middle of Catching Fire, Katniss left District 12 with Gale and their family without bringing Peeta along. Feeling abandoned and betrayed, Peeta learns that love can only hurt him, and he grows to only care for himself and his father. What would happen if Katniss returns? Will Peeta accept her back? Will the Star-crossed Lovers be back in action?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and the Hunger Games trilogy. They belong to the amazing Suzanne Collins. (Despite how much I wanted Peeta to be mine)**

**Summary: In the middle of Catching Fire, Katniss left District 12 with Gale and their family without bringing Peeta along. Feeling abandoned and betrayed, Peeta learns that love can only hurt him, and he grows to only care for himself and his father. What would happen if Katniss returns? Will Peeta accept her back? Will the Star-crossed Lovers be back in action? Characters might be a little OOC. K/P**

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Prologue

**Peeta POV**

_I'm walking at the streets of the Victor Village, just to take a break after hours of baking session. With my hands folded into fists inside my coat pockets, and my scarf tied loosely around my neck, the cold of winter barely causes any effect on me. However it still causes a bit of stinging pain on my prosthetic leg. After a few strides from one street to another, I've returned to a familiar street where Haymitch, Katniss and my house are located._

_Katniss…_

_I stop in front of her house that is identical to mine. I stare at her close-windowed house. That's odd. Usually her curtains would stay open until late afternoon. And more importantly, even though I'm standing outside, I can feel the house is empty. I walk over to her porch and stop in front of the door. But I can't decide whether if I should knock or not. They've probably went out. So I turn around and make my way towards my house._

_Once inside, I jump back at the sight of Haymitch sprawled on my couch with his left leg dangling on the armrest and his left hand rests on his stomach while his right hand holds a bottle of liquor, which lies on the floor._

_I sigh. I forgot that he has one of my spare keys in case he wants to stop by and rest since my house is a lot tidier than his. I walk over to him and shake his shoulder._

"_Haymitch," I say._

_The only response he gives me is a grumpy groan that comes from his tight lips. My lips form a mischievous smile when I suddenly have an idea. I go to the kitchen and pour cold water into a bowl. I return to the living room where he continues snoring heavily, and splash the water on his face._

"_Gah!" He shouts and sits up abruptly._

_I can't help but laugh at my mentor's expression. I remember the last time I did this was when Katniss suggested this idea._

"_That's the second time you did that to me, boy," he grunts, wiping his face with the sleeves of his old, brown shirt._

"_And it never fails to crack me up," I reply with a grin._

"_You better stop doing that before I break those hands of yours," he warns._

"_Noted. So why are you here?" I walk to the coat rake next to my door to hang my coat and scarf, leaving me in a simple grey T-shirt._

_He sits up straighter, wiping a last streak of water on his cheek. "I haven't seen the girl for a while. You know what happened to her?"_

_I shake my head. "No," I say. "In fact the last time I saw and talked to her was two weeks ago."_

_It's true. Two weeks ago, I was leaving the Victor Village when I stumbled upon her and she asked me about running away with her. I, of course, would do anything for her and agreed. And suddenly there was a commotion in the town square where Gale was whipped for illegally hunting in the woods and she stood up for him, willing to take the next whip on her own back._

_My mind suddenly goes back to the moment when in the middle of the Victory Tour, I apologized to her for my childish behavior when she told me that everything she did in the Arena was just an act. Of course, the pain in my chest still hurt even though it happened months ago, but I couldn't go on sulking like a child who lost his candy. So I decided to apologize and at least become her friend. I was so happy that she accepted the offer. If I couldn't make her feel the same way as I feel for her towards me, at least we're not strangers to each other like before._

_However, after Gale's whipping, I don't see her anymore. I tried to go to the Hob to find her but Greasy Sae said she wasn't around for a while as well. The only alternative choice I had left was the woods but as much how I wanted to go there, my new leg always restrained me from going there. I also saw a large hole on the electrocuted fence which I believe Katniss uses to go to the other side._

_And not just her, I also rarely see Prim and Mrs. Everdeen around. I wonder if anything happened._

"_I think you should go and look for her," Haymitch suggests, popping my bubbles of thoughts._

_I tell him, "I'll go once I put the bread in the oven away." _

_I retreat to the kitchen and put on my oven gloves and take the baked bread from the oven. Working out of habit, I easily put the bread from its tray into a wooden breadbox that lies beside the fridge. Next I move to clean up the ingredients and utensils I used from the kitchen island's countertop._

_As I work, my mind progresses the recent events; the Victory Tour, Katniss' attempt to escape from Snow and the Capitol, Gale's whipping, Katniss and her family's disappearance._

_My hands stop what they're doing when my head jumbles the list of events. _She wouldn't,_ I think. I run from then kitchen as I shrug my gloves off, I hear them heap on the floor._

"_Where're you going boy!" I hear Haymitch call after me. _

_But I don't bring myself to care just like how I ignore my coat when I open my door. I quicken my pace towards Katniss's house. As I run, the cold immediately stings my exposed skin. I ignore it as well. Right now, all I want to know is what the hell is going on._

_When I reach her house, I slam the door open, a bit surprised that it's not locked. I'm now standing at her house with ragged breath, looking at the dark and empty house even though the set of furniture are still here. _

_I climb the stairs two at a time. I remember her room is on the right and when I open the door, I find it as empty as other rooms in the house. All of her belongings are gone. All that's left are her bed and other bedroom furniture._

_And then it hits me._

_She's gone._

_With her family, and most likely with Gale too._

_She left me._

_She abandoned me._

_My knees grow weak and the next thing I know, they lay flat on the floor._

_Tears start to pierce the back of my eyes like a thousand needles. I wait for them to fall down on my cheek but strangely they don't. There's a tightening pain in my chest and my hand clutches the front of my shirt, trying to ease the pain, but to no avail. I'm also unable to breathe as if oxygen has been drained away from me. My lips quiver, my mouth opens and closes midway, trying to let out a scream, but nothing comes out except for a choking sound._

_How could she? A part of me says, _Isn't it obvious? It's because you're nothing but a burden to her.

_I'm filled with a rush of emotions; pain, betrayal, abandonment, anger and finally resentment. Slowly, I get a grip on myself, stopping my crying and stand up. My hands form tight fists on either side of my body._

_Here I am standing in a room that belonged to the Girl on Fire. The Victor of the 74th__ Hunger Games. The girl who betrayed and abandoned me. The girl who broke my heart into a million pieces by stepping on it. The girl I loved who I grow to hate._

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**A/N: So what do you think about my new story? I know it's just the prologue and pretty angsty but do tell me your opinions. I actually wanted to post this story after I finished 'Hunger Games: High School Life', but it's just too tempting. And mind you that this is an alternative beginning of my one-shot story 'Goodbye for now'. I hope to get nice feedbacks from you so I'll be motivated to continue.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and the Hunger Games trilogy. They belong to the amazing Suzanne Collins. (Despite how much I wanted Peeta to be mine)**

**Summary: In the middle of Catching Fire, Katniss left District 12 with Gale and their family without bringing Peeta along. Feeling abandoned and betrayed, Peeta learns that love can only hurt him, and he grows to only care for himself and his father. What would happen if Katniss returns? Will Peeta accept her back? Will the Star-crossed Lovers be back in action? Characters might be a little OOC. K/P**

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**Katniss POV**

Living in the woods isn't such a bad idea. The air here is fresher than in the village and it's so quiet, just the way I like it, and most of all, free from the Capitol and President Snow's rule. My family and Gale's family are now living in a cottage that my father built in the woods when I was younger. Despite that it's not so huge, it is still able to fit all of us in, with the kids have to share a room while Mother and Hazelle share the same room, and me and Gale in the living room. Gale wants to renovate the cottage, but it's a tough task since there's a shortage in materials.

Six months after leaving District 12, we manage to get used to our new environment though little Posy still needs to learn not to go too far from the cottage. There's still a quite high risk of us getting attacked by wild animals, so we need to be careful.

I'm sitting on the soft grass in front of the cottage with my knees close to my chest and my arms wrap around them, looking up to the blue sky. I've missed this place back when I was in the Capitol. How could I give up something beautiful and calming like this? To me nothing can ever compare to the beauty of nature. But the Capitol has a different opinion on which they prefer modern civilization.

In the back of my head, I actually missed District 12. As much as how I love being here, living here in the woods, it's still where I was born, my birthplace, the place where I grew up. I also missed our old house, the Hob. I missed Greasy Sae, Madge, Haymitch, and…

Peeta.

I miss him. There, I've said it. In a present tense.

I miss his arms. His strong arms that used to provide me protection from the nightmarish dreams. I miss his comforting words that lull me back to sleep. I miss his radiant smile. I miss his soft laugh. I miss his striking blue eyes. I miss his golden hair which I used to brush aside to see his beautiful eyes. I miss his smell of cinnamon and bread. I miss his touch. I miss his attention. I miss everything about him.

Sometimes I would dream of seeing him again, but it always ends with him getting dragged away from me or him leaving me. To make it worse, nightmares from the Hunger Games always come to haunt me and I would wake up with sheen of sweat and Gale would be there to comfort me, but he always fails to do so.

And I know the exact reason: he's not Peeta. Only Peeta knows what it feels like to be in the Games. Only he knows how it feels to be haunted by the ghost of the dead Tributes. Only he understands the torture of nightmarish nights like the ones I have. Only he knows the feeling of not being able to sleep.

And I've abandoned him. I've left him to fight his own nightmares. He was always there for me when I needed him, so why can't I do the same for him? It's because I'm selfish. I always think about myself before him. I even never bothered to bring him along to the woods. I argued with myself the night before our escape, whether to bring him or not. However, we already had too much people to bring with us. Gale even convinced me about that fact.

Once in a while, I'd look up to the sky that has the same blue colour with his eyes and imagine it's him and then start talking as if he'd be able to hear me.

_Peeta, how are you doing? Is everything going okay around you?_

_Peeta, are you still baking? I've missed your cheese buns, I wish I could have some right now._

_Peeta, are you still painting? I wonder what you're actually drawing right now._

_Peeta, I wish you were here with me. I can't sleep at night without you. I know you can't either. _

Once, I was caught by Prim when I was talking to myself. And then she convinced me to try to sneak back to District 12 to see him. But I knew that it's impossible. It's been six months. How would the people of District 12 react when they see me? Maybe some of them would report to the Peacekeeper. Which is the reason why I can't come back. And I'm not sure how would Peeta react when he sees me. Would he hug me and kiss me to welcome me? Would he say that he misses me?

I shake my head in hope to remove the thought of returning to District 12. I can't take a risk of exposing myself to the Peacekeeper and that might also expose our hideout in the woods. I have to stop thinking about Peeta or else I can't hold the urge to see him again. But it's difficult to do so with all the nightmares. I have to get used to facing them without Peeta.

"Catnip?"

I turn my head around and Gale appears from the bushes. It seems he just finished hunting because in his hands are dead squirrels and rabbits.

I smile at him. "Hey, Gale. Looks like we'll have great dinner tonight."

"Yeah. It's great living in the woods, isn't it? We don't have to secretly creep from our house and crawl through that troublesome fence," he says, sitting down next to me.

"Really? I guess I got used to it," I tell him.

There's nothing more to say after that. I find it strange because usually we'd talk about our family's condition and about the future. Maybe it's not necessary anymore to talk about these things since we've decided to live here together.

"What were you thinking just now?" He asks suddenly.

"Nothing much. Just remembering our old home."

"Were you thinking about going back?"

I stare at him. "What? Of course not. Why would you say that?"

"You think I wouldn't notice you staring up to the sky and longing for District 12?"

"And what's wrong with that?" I ask, though I know the answer already.

"That longing feeling will make you want to go back, and that could cause trouble. And I don't want that to happen."

"I know, Gale," I sigh.

All of a sudden, he grabs my shoulders tightly and pulls my face close to his. One moment I thought he's going to kiss me. But he doesn't, instead he looks at my eyes deeply.

"Please, Catnip. Stop thinking about it," he whispers.

I nod silently, and then he retreats to the cottage with his games. I sit there quietly, dumbfounded with his reaction. Something tells me he's not just asking me to forget about District 12.

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**To tell you the truth, I hate Gale. You'd find it very obvious once you read the next chapter because I'm gonna make him act like an asshole (again). Another thing is that I like to write a story of Katniss and Peeta where Katniss feels guilty for her actions towards Peeta. And sometimes I wish Peeta can just act coldly towards her. I mean he's sixteen, for God's sake. No sixteen year old teenager can withstand that much anger and stay cool (except the real Peeta, of course). I hope this chapter is satisfying. Reviews make me smile. **


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and the Hunger Games trilogy. They belong to the amazing Suzanne Collins. (Despite how much I wanted Peeta to be mine)**

**Summary: In the middle of Catching Fire, Katniss left District 12 with Gale and their family without bringing Peeta along. Feeling abandoned and betrayed, Peeta learns that love can only hurt him, and he grows to only care for himself and his father. What would happen if Katniss returns? Characters might be a little OOC. K/P**

**A/N: Forgive me for leaving the story for a long time. I know it's ridiculous for leaving a fresh story hanging for so long. *bows down* But I'm back now, so please enjoy this chapter.**

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_I'm running in a dark forest with no sign of light. The only sound that I can hear is the sound my feet snapping twigs on the ground and my heavy pants. Behind me is a pair of beastly yellow eyes that no doubt belong to a Mutt. I'm in the Arena again. The Mutt chases after me with a quick pace, and heavy grunts are audible from its big mouth. _

_I fasten my speed as I turn my head to make sure it hasn't catch up to me. If only I had my bow and arrows, I might have the chance to kill it. But I'm bare-handed. So I pathetically try to save myself by just escaping from it, which has a very little chance of success. _

_I take a right turn and squat down behind a tree to hide myself. The Mutt stops its movement and starts looking its surrounding and inhales the air, searching for my scent. _Please don't let it find me, please don't let it find me,_ I pray silently, closing my eyes. _

_The light brown-coloured Mutt then stops sniffing and releases an angry growl, and then goes to a different direction. I wait for a while until the coast is clear. I run forward though I don't know where I'm heading. And then there's a piercing scream coming within the deeper part of the forest. The voice sounds so familiar. So I follow where it comes from. Then I arrive at an open field, and I see a pack of Mutts surrounding a prey. Under the dim sunlight, I catch the silhouette of the poor victim._

_Pale skin and a blonde hair with streaks of blood. A bandaged left leg that has blood on it like an ink on a paper. I immediately know who it is when I see a pair of blue eyes filled with intense fear. Peeta. He's lying helplessly on the ground as the Mutts are fighting over who gets to eat him first. I want to run towards him and protect him. But how? I don't even have weapons to save him._

_Without thinking, I shout out his name._

_The Mutts' automatically turn their eyes on me. Instead of charging towards me, they stay on the same spot, attempting to finish Peeta first and saving me for later. When I look down to him, his eyes lock on me, begging me to help him. But my legs won't obey me no matter how much I command them to move._

_Another scream from comes from him when two of the Mutts simultaneously gnaw on his arm and leg. Another Mutt with dark fur begins chewing his stomach. His free arm that is raised powerlessly falls down on the ground. His head faces towards me with his eyes still open. In his eyes, I can read them saying, 'Why didn't you save me?'_

"_Peeta!" I can't help but shout as the merciless Mutts finishing him. Tears begin to pool my eyes and spill down my cheeks. _

_The still hungry beasts turn towards me and menacingly crawl closer. I slowly back away, my legs quivering. And then they fasten their pace and what I notice next is that a black Mutt leaps on me and I yell, "No!" Waiting for death to welcome me._

"Catnip! Catnip!" I hear Gale's voice.

When I snap my eyes open, his anxious face is the first thing that I see. "Gale?" I confirm.

"It's okay. You're safe," he says soothingly.

"It was horrible," I breathe. "I was in the Arena again, and- and a Mutt was chasing me, and-"

"It was just a dream," he affirms.

He pulls me against his chest to comfort me. But I don't feel it. Just like the other nights he tried to calm me down. But I wrap my arms around him anyway. Soon after that, he tucks me back on the couch and offers himself to stay awake to watch me.

"It's alright, Gale. You should get some sleep as well. You need to rest since you've done so much for us today," I tell him.

"Are you sure?"

I nod and give him a small smile. I feel him reluctantly loosen his grasp on my hand. Before he lies down on the couch across mine, he turns to face me.

"I'll always be here for you, Catnip. You know that, don't you?"

"I know," I mumble. "I believe you, Gale." And then my eyelids drop and I fall back to sleep with the nightmare of Peeta being killed still lingering in my head.

The next morning I know I wake up pretty late from the faint light through the window. I notice Mother is with Rory and his younger siblings in the kitchen. I wobbly walk over to them.

"Good mowning, Katniss," Posy says when she sees me, giving an innocent smile.

"Good morning," I say with little strength I have.

"Are you feeling better, honey? Gale told me you had another nightmare," Mother asks as she wipes her hands with her worn-out apron.

I take a seat next to Rory before mumbling, "I don't think I'll ever recover from the nightmares."

Her already worried face becomes worse. "Oh, Katniss. I wish we could do something for you."

I shake my head. "It's alright. I'll get used to it."

"Did anyone try to comfort you while you were in the Tour?"

"Yes. Peeta did."

Suddenly the room is filled with an uncomfortable silence. She asks with a shocked face when she asks, "Did he go to your room and slept with you?" Her tone sounds like a typical mother who is apprehensive when she finds out her daughter is sleeping with a boy.

"Yes. But I was the one who asked them to do so. And we simply slept," I tell her. "Besides he also had nightmares like mine. We needed comfort from each other since we knew how it felt like to be in the Arena."

Her worried expression turns into relief and then sympathetic. "Do you wish we should've brought him along?"

My body tenses with the question. Do I want him to be here? A part of me yearns for him, while my other part finds the question hard to answer. I know that bringing him is very risky because his family's life would be in danger. I also find it somehow strange to have him and Gale together in this small cottage. I think it has something to do with my confused feelings for both of them. I know I love Gale like a brother. And yes, I love Peeta, but in what way? I did risk my life just to save him. So does that mean I love him as a friend? A partner? An ally? All I know is that I couldn't let him die. I just can't.

"I don't know," I murmur. "But there are times I wish him to be here," I admit.

"What?" I hear a voice behind me.

Gale.

"Gale, I-" I start, standing up.

"You're still thinking about him?" And then he stomps towards the door, leaving a trail of his game on the floor.

"Wait!" I call after him.

His pace quickens when we're in the middle of the grassland. When I finally catch up to him and yank at his arm. His body turns around to face me, and his identical eyes like mine are filled with rage and disappointment.

"I will never be enough for you, will I?" He demands, his voice loaded with ire and dissatisfaction.

"It's not like that," I blurt.

"Then why do you keep calling for him while you're sleeping?" What?

My eyebrows knit in mystification. Do I scream his name in my nightmares? If yes, that should explains why he's mad.

"Tell me, Catnip. What does he have and I don't? Does he love you as much as how I love you?" He continues.

Before I can answer his question, his lips attack mine in a sudden. Unlike Peeta's kiss that is always so gentle and loving, his lips are rough and demanding like fire. His mouth move unsynchronized with mine and I try to push his shoulders back but that encourages him more. His hands roughly trail from my face towards my hips and squeeze them hard. I manage to unlatch our mouth but he continues to pepper more kisses on my neck.

"Stop," I pant. But he doesn't. "Gale, stop! Please stop!"

He pulls his head upwards and stares at me with skepticism. "Why?"

Gathering all of my strength, I manage to shove him this time.

"Why, you ask? I'll tell you why. It's because you're not as loving as him. He also understands what it feels like to be in the Arena. He is the only one who has the same nightmare like mine. He has the gentlest heart I never knew a person could have. He has sacrificed his leg to save my life, his own life if he had to. And certainly it's because he loves me unconditionally."

My outburst seems to render him into silence. His head droops in defeat and there are tiny gleams in his eyes.

"Is he that important to you?" He asks with a small voice.

"Yes," I answer him automatically. A thought then clicks at the back of my mind.

"Then why did you leave him? If he's so important to you, why didn't you bring him along?" He inquires.

"Would you even allow it?" I ask back, and when he doesn't answer, I continue, "It's also because I don't want him to take the risk of getting hurt, because there is still a chance of us getting caught by the Capitol. And moreover he doesn't want to leave his family."

"So you'd prefer getting your own family in danger before him?"

"No! Of course not," I answer. "He's as equally important as all of you to me."

He then nods imperceptibly and steps pass me, and back into the cottage, leaving me with a decision that I should have made a long time ago. A selfish decision, to be honest.

I'm returning to District 12. Back to Peeta.

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**Told you I'm gonna make Gale an asshole in this story. And Katniss is a very complicated character, so it's quite difficult to maintain her characteristics. But yeah, she's returning to District 12 to reunite with the Boy with the Bread and bla-bla-bla. But you don't think it would be that simple, right? You'll see more in the next chapter. Reviews make me smile.**


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